Stop and look around or you’ll miss a puppy see it’s first flower, or a baby take it’s first steps. You’ll miss the teen on the bus give their seat to an elderly women and your neighbor will hold open the door. You’ll miss one homeless person share their sandwich with another and you’ll watch a child’s face light up, with a new teddy in their arms.
You’ll look at your feet because life doesn’t deserve your smiles. You have the ability to be selective. To see what you want – to want what you know. And with every step you’ll remind yourself of heartbreak and pain. The humans that start wars and the evil on the news. You look down to avoid a truth you can’t stand. The world is full of messed up people. Broken people, but for as long as you let yourself turn your head to reality, you’re letting yourself be one of them.
You spend your days left to wonder where you went wrong, what you said in error. The ridiculous regrets that exhaust your mind. If your life has gone wrong and disappointment is constant, realization is the bittersweet battle. You now have the power of hindsight. The ability to use your past to revise your future.
Unfortunately, hindsight stirs anxiety. You over think the things you wish could be over and forgotten about. You think everyone remembers your mistakes without realizing they’re trying to erase their own. It’s an uneasy circle. You must choose to take control of your life or live in a distorted reality. You must never take for granted the power of a second or the power of a second chance.
Jack-in-the-boxes taught us to expect the unexpected. Show and Tell taught us the worth of having more, having better, having the best. Finger painting taught us the mess we’re capable of and the colours we show, without any intention. Skipping rocks taught us the fight of sink versus swim and a simple game of tag, taught the power of a touch.
We’ve spent years finding lessons within life, yet there’s still so much we don’t know, and so much we haven’t learned. A frustrating idea to some, but a sense of excitement for those who understand, we should be so fortunate to live in a world of the unknown.
So remember the things you learned in the rows of a classroom, but, don’t be mislead. Our educations leave us staring at a wall, and once we turn around, we fall into life’s depths and with that we learn, we must embrace the fall because those who fall are wiser, then those who grab for air.
They’ll care if you eat all the food on your plate and they’ll care if you throw it away. They’ll care if you spend three hours at the gym and they’ll care if you waste your day, eating popcorn on the couch. They’ll care if you care, and they’ll care if you don’t.
They’ll hate the tone in which you say hi and stories you love to tell. They’ll hate the sweater you pulled from the depths of your closet. The one reeking with memories and tattered loose ends. The sweater you haven’t yet realized, means more then their opinions.
They’ll resent every flaw you won’t admit – and the ones you can’t defeat. But, for as long as you wait for their stinging words and glaring eyes to kill you, you’re only killing yourself. You cannot live a life without tripping over your own two feet just as you cannot live a life without being shoved from behind. So, let them hate you, let them judge you and let them push you farther.
There’s more to life than a textbook definition. There’s something about it that can’t be put into words and that scares you because you think it means you don’t understand it, you don’t have control. Society has taught us only to love what we know. What we can see, and hear, and touch. You know there’s more and that’s why you’re looking for something you don’t even know exists and you’re driving yourself crazy doing it.
We spend our lives preparing for the day we graduate college. The day we enter the real world and the day we’re left on our own. Society has put it in our heads that life starts and stops when we’re handed a diploma. We have so much to do and so much time to do it, yet we live to believe it should already be done.
Life shows no mercy as we’re hit with a wind that keeps pushing back. Teasing us of happiness beyond the cold. Success beyond the struggle. The hardest thing to do is look up and look forward, so too often, we turn our backs, and lose sight of the path we were walking.
The only way to succeed is to use the push of the wind as momentum and use the idea of falling; as the very something that keeps us up.
We hate when people assume things just pass. If you see me in a month, I still might be confused. If you see me in a year, I still might be insecure. If you see me when I’m smiling, I still might be in pain.
Don’t say, still? Don’t say, I thought you got over that. Don’t say anything if you can’t understand the way pain lingers.
I’d be so simple if we had the same friends, same background, same childhood. It’d be so easy to understand if we had the same thoughts, same fears, same goals. It’d be so different if we could see through the walls people build and understand the laughs that are true and the tears that they drown in.
But we don’t have the power to see the ones who are struggling. So, we should live our lives remembering, we’ve all hurt and with that, we’re all able to hurt again.
There are days when you find yourself at your lowest. A recluse in your condo and a prisoner of your sweatpants. These days are the struggle. You don’t know if you’re okay or why you feel so hollow. Your eyes don’t say anything but pain and confusion. These days question everything that once was, as the things that use to make your world turn, don’t anymore. Your darkest thoughts start to make sense and you spend your time, just getting by. Yet, on the days you can’t even force a smile, are the days you still feel purpose. It’s not that you don’t want to live. It’s that you’ve forgotten how.
We’re scared of the people who are going to let us down, kill our dreams and cause us pain. We’re scared of real emotions. The weight of heartache and the misery we must tolerate when we can no longer find sense. We runaway from pain and we cheat ourselves from life.
This proves we know so little. We’re cowards hoping to numb rejection. Hoping to endure no more then the sting of a paper cut. There are amazingly painful emotions we must learn to survive. We need to get out of our own way, out of our own mind and see that we’re not alone. We’re surrounded by people who bleed red, whose hands shake, whose voices are laced with fear.
So, embrace the mess you are and the madness in your head. Be so excited you’re scared and so scared you’re excited. Be so afraid your vision blurs and all you see is pain worth feeling.