who to resent and who to admire.

When someone apologizes for the way they look, the things they say, it means there’s someone in their life, that taught them to be sorry for who they are. Someone taught them to make excuses for their flaws, to justify their presence.

Perhaps that’s why we confuse cocky with confident. We’re torn between who to resent and who to admire. We’re blinded by whose standing tall and whose being held up. For, even the prom queen knows what it’s like to wake up alone. The highest A-lister has felt lonely in a crowd. The most glamorous person has looked at their reflection through tears.

We compare ourselves to those exactly like us. We all have our niche. Our sense of high; giving us happiness in the darkest times as everyone’s goal is to simply survive tomorrow as they did today. Everyone has the right to live without apology and as a result, they will live without regret.

ten things to remember when blogging.

Screen shot 2014-08-18 at 10.20.34 PM1. Consistency. If you’re looking for any success to come from your blog, remain consistent. You don’t have to blog every day, but two – three times a week (or even once a week) will give reassurance to your readers that they have something to look forward too regularly.

2. Content. Writing your blog in the form of a diary makes it hard for others to relate. Tell your story in a way that others can put themselves in your shoes or compare what you’re saying to their own lives. This may include limiting use of names and locations or discussing feelings as opposed to events.

3. Branding. Consider your blog a brand or even a company. Create a catchy title, slogan, logo, personalized email and use your voice as the brand identity. You can create an anonymous blog but still, give the readers a sense of organization they can become comfortable with.

  • Try to chose a blog name that people can spell and remember. Therefore, it’s easier for them to type it into the search bar if they’re not able to access their WordPress account and there’s more chances they’ll tell their friends or family about it in conversation.

4. Interact. Growing a blog is irrelevant if you’re not going to interact with people in the ‘community’. A benefit to blogging is having the privilege to hear other people’s insight on topics you’re interested in. Comment on others blogs, respond to those who comment on yours, do guest blogs and if the opportunity arises, engage in email conversations.

5. Clean. Keep your blog clean and simple as the rule, less is more, has never been more true. Only have the share buttons that people will realistically use. Have a solid background colour so the words can be easier to read and don’t fill your page with every widget you come across. This will make your page harder to maneuver around and your work will become lost in the mess.

  • Putting links into text such as,  ‘Click: Here’ looks a lot more appealing to the eye then including the entire ‘www’ address. Learn how to do so in the visual page edit screen.

6. Social Media. It’s almost impossible to have one successful social media account without the help of another. However, don’t sign up for every account at once. You will overwhelm yourself and your work will be mediocre, not outstanding. Start with one account (Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram) and link it to your blog so that posts are immediately updated and can be found by another audience.

7. Length. We live in a society with shortened attention spans. We’re used to the length of a Facebook status or the quick skimming of a Twitter feed. Write posts long enough to say what you want but try to restrain from rambling on and on at the risk of losing your readers attention. Turn long posts into two short ones instead, if possible.

8. About. I’ve come across countless blogs that don’t include an ‘About Me’ page. I consider this unfortunate as it is always the first thing I look for. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate summary of your past or details down to your house address, but give your readers a general idea of who is writing these posts. It will really help them to connect and better understand you as a person.

9. Content. This can’t be stressed enough, write what you know. There seems to be a glamourized perception on being a ‘beauty guru’ that makes writing about anything else, seem unacceptable. If you don’t want to write about makeup and DIY’s, then write about mental health, animals, love & loss, being a sad and confused teenager. Write about something you can put your heart and soul into and you’ll be reward with the ability to impact someone’s life.

10. Theme. Just because it’s a theme available on WordPress, doesn’t mean it works for the content you’re trying to convey or the audience you’re hoping to address. Finding a theme that works for you is a frustrating session of trial and error. If your blog revolves around pictures, find an appropriate theme just as you should if your blog is mostly writing. Your readers want accessibility which unfortunately, can’t always be found.

dreaming of different.

Screen shot 2014-08-14 at 1.58.53 AMDon’t skip dinner with friends or pass on a tall glass of wine. Don’t stand in front of the candles on your Birthday cake, wishing for it to be gone and don’t count down the days to Thanksgiving like you count down the calories until you’re ‘full’. Don’t miss your favourite show to run the extra mile and don’t let the seconds in your day, waste away like the numbers on your scale.

I would love my faults if I believed you ever could but for as long as you hold my hand loose and you let your eyes stray, I will understand beauty to be what they want. I will stand in front of my mirror and suck in my stomach. I will flip celebrity magazines and dream of perfection. I will wake up early to hide the things I hate and I will wrestle with myself, when I just can’t be enough.

I will spend the rest of my life dreaming of different and when that day comes, and I finally ‘look’ right, I will look at the floor when he tells me my smile’s pretty. I will argue non stop when he says I’m perfection, because I’ll remember, to you, I wasn’t enough. It’ll  take time and it’ll take hurting to one day realize, life isn’t about how you look. It’s about the person looking at you.

remembering bionic.

Unfortunately, I lost a very special friend today. He was my first pet of my own and taught me a lot, as anyone who has had a pet can relate too. Writing this goodbye has helped significantly.
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I’ll miss the times you had accidents in places you shouldn’t and the way your ears peered over the couch when I wandered away. I’ll miss the way your legs turned like Bambi’s when you reached the wood floors and your nose never stopped twitching, in your three years of life. I’ll miss the way you slid into the crevasse of the couch and the way you would sit in the rays of the sun. I’ll miss the times you walked around with lettuce on your head and I’ll miss the way you filled the room with sound, as you bounced around your cage. I’ll miss the first time you realized you were too big to fit in your house and the way you were there for me, when I moved out of mine.

I’m drunk on missing you and as high as your hops are in heaven, but I’m thankful to miss because that means that I had and the life that you showed me, the love that I felt, will forever be what I think of, when the crazy world you left me in, lets me stop and think of you.

about me.

DSC_22101. My name is Jennifer. I am a twenty-three year old girl, living on my own as a post grad. I live in a Lakeshore condo in Toronto, ON with my ten-week-old puppy, Suri.

2. I have been a vegetarian for the past three years after reading the book ‘Eating Animals’, which held nothing back when exposing the truth about slaughterhouses and animal cruelty.

3. Despite being on many week long trips and vacations, I have no desire to travel excessively. I hate packing/unpacking, the travel process, and being in unfamiliar places.

4. I only have one thing on my bucket list, and that’s to swim with sharks.

5. I went to College for Fashion Arts and dropped out after a year and two months. I then took a year off and have since graduated from Media Communications.

6. I can count my amazing friends, the ones who would be there for me no matter what, on two hands. I have known all of them for a minimum for ten years.

7. I am the youngest sibling with an older brother (25) and older sister (27).

8. I would rather stay in on a Friday night with Netflix and a cold beer then go out partying anytime. I partied consistently from age fifteen to twenty-two so I’m fine doing so, knowing I’ve still experienced that lifestyle.

9. The amount of crime shows and documentaries I watch makes me irrational at times but I can’t stop. I am also (oddly) obsessed with watching Dr.Phil.

10. I spent December to June suffering from chronic insomnia and dealing with the backlash of living life with a sleep deprived mind.

the people who have seen the dark.

Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 9.49.26 PMIf you heard someone cry would you hug them? If you watched someone trip would you pick them up? If you felt someone die would you save them?

Day after day we can save someones life, we can show them the light, we can share what we know. We should all be so lucky to find someone whose seen the dark for those people know how to shine light when we need it ourselves. But sometimes the people who have seen the dark, leave their problems there.

Sometimes we’re scared of hugging, in fear of them holding too tight. Sometimes we’re scared to pick someone up, in fear they’ll pull us down. Sometimes we’re scared to save someone’s life, in fear we will forfeit our own. And sometimes we’re scared to share the lessons we learned, in fear of turning around. 

we fight who we are.

Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 9.54.47 PMOur teen years fixate on the popularity of the girl with pretty long hair and a drinking problem. The jock like boyfriends that will bend over backwards to hold their books and the instant glamour that can be found when accessorizing with pink. It’s the kind of life we hate to want.

We try to make a normal so far from what we know, but it’s a matter of time before we realize people don’t change, they simply can’t. We can fight who we are for as long as we have the strength but eventually it’s inevitable and we give up the act. The twenties come with a lot of hardships, a lot of obstacles we must overcome but while we’re occupied with the more serious problems in life, we forget to pretend to be someone else. There is no better time to embrace who you really are then a time where no one has a clue.

we watched it burn to ashes.

Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 9.58.05 PMIt’s the kind of pain we didn’t know love had to offer. The kind of love we hate to admit, for the times we saw the destruction, when the pain wasn’t worth the reward, we didn’t put the fire out. Instead, we watched it burn to ashes in a regretful fall out.

When the fall out happened and bitter resentment was strong, your jokes were at me, not to me. You didn’t pick up when I called. You brushed off my problems, my pleas, my maybe I was wrong. I live to wonder if you were worth settling for, but without you I’ll never know. Without you I can’t help but think, the burn from the flame was better then the ashes of us.

perfection is imperfection.

Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 9.59.35 PMOf course we want perfection. We want the best picture, best job, best hair.

But perfection is when you see his crooked teeth beyond the gap of his smile. It’s the scar on your arm from where you fell out of a tree at age eight. The way you hold your fork the wrong way and the phobia you’ve hid for so long. It’s the way your moms voice echoes through the house and the family bickers on Christmas day. It’s the times someone stutters mid sentence, the times you fall asleep on the phone. It’s the way you snore in your sleep when you dream of perfection. But what society won’t tell you, is that perfection is imperfection and imperfection is perfect.

if Taylor Swift had a blog.

Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 10.05.37 PMIf Taylor Swift had a blog, she would write about graceful movements across the dance floor. Flawless hours making up for past suffering. Watching someone leave before even letting go. She would write about the bittersweet feeling of seeing someone love. The wonder hidden within life. The revenge hidden within words. She would write about the harmony of pastel colours. The complexity of paisley patterns. The therapy in a cup of tea. The glamour of sweatpants. The battle of self-resentment. The relief in self-discovery. The for better or for worse of uncertainty.

She would say love is pain and pain is inevitable. Everyday is a new challenge, a new yesterday. A fate left to zodiac signs. A fate left to if it’s meant to be.

Taylor Swift knows if you fall down and scrape your knee, it’s a good day to wear a skirt for our imperfections aren’t something worth hiding. Our imperfections are the very something someone will one day fall in love with.