Archives for posts with tag: inspiration

Sometimes I like that I believed your lies because it meant I thought the best of you. Sometimes I like how hard I tried to make things work, because it meant I was open to the idea of you. Sometimes I like the times things went wrong, because it meant I was willing to fight for you.

It’s bittersweet getting through something with the very person who put you though it, but I’m so glad I did because it meant life hasn’t yet, made me cold to the idea of love. And that’s all because of you.

We spend our lives preparing for the day we graduate college. The day we enter the real world and the day we’re left on our own. Society has put it in our heads that life starts and stops when we’re handed a diploma. We have so much to do and so much time to do it, yet we live to believe it should already be done.

Life shows no mercy as we’re hit with a wind that keeps pushing back. Teasing us of happiness beyond the cold. Success beyond the struggle. The hardest thing to do is look up and look forward, so too often, we turn our backs, and lose sight of the path we were walking.

We must use the push of the wind as momentum and use the idea of falling; as the very something that keeps us up.

Screen shot 2014-09-27 at 12.35.30 AMWe hate when people assume things just pass. If you see me in a month, I still might be confused. If you see me in a year, I still might be insecure. If you see me when I’m smiling, I still might be in pain.

Don’t say, still? Don’t say, I thought you got over that? Don’t say anything if you can’t understand the way pain lingers.

I’d be so simple if we had  the same friends, same background, same childhood. It’d be so easy to understand if we had the same thoughts, same fears, same goals. It’d be so different if we could see through the walls people build and understand the laughs that are true and the tears that they drown in.

But we don’t have the power to see the ones who are struggling. So, we should live our lives remembering, we’ve all hurt and with that, we’re all able to hurt again.

We’ve grown up with the question, what would you do if you had a million dollars?, floating around our heads. The twenties (possibly more then any other age) teaches us the value of a dollar and the way our lives change according to our income. I’ve finally given thought to what I would do if I won the jackpot or stumbled into a successful business venture. What would you do?

tumblr_lkkd40K8781qeojulo1_500_large1. Buy a two bedroom condo and rid myself of pesky landlords and the constant burden of where I’m going to live in a year.

2. Treat the friends who have stuck by me through the low points of my life, to a fancy night of food and drinks.

3. Send my parents on a two-week cruise to finally say thank you (as much as I can) for everything they’ve done for me.

4. Take two vacations myself. One with my family, and one with close friends. 

5. Enjoy the freedom of going out for desserts, to the movies, bowling etc. with no barriers or maybe after pay day, restrictions.

6. Fill my fridge and cupboards with all of the foods I’ve once picked up and put down at the grocery store because of the price. i.e the fresh $10 pizza instead of McCain.

7. Fill my closet with all of the clothes I’ve once picked up and put down at the store because of the price. (Within reason, of course). i.e. no more Forever 21!

8. Embrace the ability to finally give back to a charity of my choice. I am a strong supporter for Animal Rights and would love to contribute to such an important cause.

9. Walk through the streets with a pocket full of bills, giving them out to every homeless person I come across.

10. Use the money to financially support me while I figure out how to make a living doing what I love, writing.

Screen shot 2014-09-27 at 8.31.30 PMThere are days when you find yourself at your lowest. A recluse in your condo and a prisoner of your sweatpants. These days are the struggle. You don’t know if you’re okay or why you feel so hollow. Your eyes don’t say anything but pain and confusion. These days question everything that once was, as the things that use to make your world turn, don’t anymore. Your darkest thoughts start to make sense and you spend your time, just getting by. Yet, on the days you can’t even force a smile, are the days you still feel purpose. It’s not that you don’t want to live. It’s that you’ve forgotten how.

Screen shot 2014-09-23 at 6.10.00 PMWe’re scared of the people who are going to let us down, kill our dreams and cause us pain. We’re scared of real emotions. The weight of heartache and the misery we must tolerate when we can no longer find sense. We runaway from pain and we cheat ourselves from life.

This proves we know so little. We’re cowards hoping to numb rejection. Hoping to endure no more then the sting of a paper cut. There are amazingly painful emotions we must learn to survive. We need to get out of our own way, out of our own mind and see that we’re not alone. We’re surrounded by people who bleed red, whose hands shake, whose voices are laced with fear.

So, embrace the mess you are and the madness in your head. Be so excited you’re scared and so scared you’re excited. Be so afraid your vision blurs and all you see is pain worth feeling.

Screen shot 2014-09-23 at 6.11.27 PMWe have impractical dreams to gain instant success. We think things come to us. We think life waits for us. There’s a truth we deny which is a future free of promises, for the only constant is that nothing is.

Every room has a door but for now, some are locked. Every path has an end but for now, we feel lost. This leaves us as victims of what’s meant to be, when it’s meant to happen. We must be patient enough to wait.Besides, the longer we are without something, the more we appreciate it. So as long as we have something to chase, we’ll keep running.

Screen shot 2014-09-23 at 6.13.12 PMToo many people live in oblivion. They take life as it is. They have amateur ambitions, a close-minded outlook and a persuadable mind for conspiracy theories. They accept the stability of a plateau. They have no interest in seeing what else life has to offer.

If your dreams haven’t made you cry, haven’t kept you awake at night, or haven’t forced you to give up, time and time again, they’re not big enough. You don’t want them bad enough. There’s a lot of motivation at night that morning pretends not to remember, so don’t let it slip away. Don’t let your days get lost.

Go for the long shot. Go for as far as you can skip a rock, for the only lies we believe are our own. Don’t tell yourself this is enough because there’s a danger in believing that’s true and it will cost a life you’ll never know.

Screen shot 2014-09-23 at 6.14.15 PMWe become fixated on fictional lives and narrated characters. They all have their story. Their beginning, middle and end and they all have a sense of direction for they were created with a purpose. Fantasy gives us the opportunity to lose ourselves in scripted reality. To leave a world we know; and embrace a world we want. It’s a nice story. Too bad it isn’t true.

We must learn to accept that life is what it is or we will constantly end with disappointment. We are given so many ways to hide but in the end, the safest place to be, is where you belong. So, day dream, write stories, watch movies, but don’t forget. It’s the beauty of a flower but the thorn of a rose. It’s the pain of deception.

Screen shot 2014-09-25 at 8.21.13 PMThere will be a day when you realize, life’s been busy changing. Your drinking buddy’s having a baby while your best friend’s tying the knot. The familiar faces of your hometown have scattered across the world and the girl whose name you once knew is the face of the biggest magazines. The jocks are chugging beers and the nerds are making money. The pretty girls still love the drunks while you’re just relieved you’ve moved on.

And on this day you’ll see, there are people behind you and people ahead of you in this crazy thing called life. We’re in a race, competing against a world that knows no rules and plays by no standard. No one comes out the winner and with that, no one comes out the loser. You’re tired and you’re gasping but as long as you keep running, you’re playing the game right.

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