You still flinch when you hear his name. The way you wish things were occupy your mind while reality tells a different truth. Your life has plans he’ll never be apart of but you tear yourself apart wishing he were by your side.
Wishing for once in your life, you could be enough. That you could lay beside him on the nights you stay up, full of rage and sorrow. The night’s you’re punching pillows. The night’s lonely never felt so alone.
Jack-in-the-boxes taught us to expect the unexpected. Show and Tell taught us the worth of having more, having better, having the best. Finger painting taught us the mess we’re capable of and the colours we show, without any intention. Skipping rocks taught us the fight of sink versus swim and a simple game of tag, taught the power of a touch.
We’ve spent years finding lessons within life, yet there’s still so much we don’t know, and so much we haven’t learned. A frustrating idea to some, but a sense of excitement for those who understand, we should be so fortunate to live in a world of the unknown.
So remember the things you learned in the rows of a classroom, but, don’t be mislead. Our educations leave us staring at a wall, and once we turn around, we fall into life’s depths and with that we learn, we must embrace the fall because those who fall are wiser, then those who grab for air.
It’s the start of a good thing, the start of a love song, the start of a moment meant to last. Because after tonight the stars will dance a little different, and the waves will kiss a little softer and the sun will beam a little brighter.
We’ll share yesterday’s that will change our tomorrow’s. We’ll tell secrets we can’t take back, make memories we can’t forget. Our pasts will be that time, or I remember when. They won’t be right now because right now is us and right now is perfect.
Needless to say, I love visual posts that can express so many powerful emotions with minimal words. Her Headache did an amazing job and gave me an amazing addition to my blog.
Sleeping Beauty and Disney fantasies of my childhood. I dreamed of being rescued by the handsome prince. Unrealistic in today’s society and no longer the goal. No longer am I that little girl, but the fantasy still lingers. Slow dancing in the kitchen. Laughing together. “I love you,” just coming out abruptly amongst that laughter.
My heart skipped a beat or two.
Did I dream all this? Suddenly now none of it feels real. It could easily have all been a dream I had and nothing more. I can rescue myself, but did I just imagine the “i love-you’s?” I could have. I might have.
What is real and what was all just a dream?
“I know you. I walked with you once upon a dream.”
This line haunts my dreams now, taunts me again and again.
There’s more to life than a textbook definition. There’s something about it that can’t be put into words and that scares you because you think it means you don’t understand it, you don’t have control. Society has taught us only to love what we know. What we can see, and hear, and touch. You know there’s more and that’s why you’re looking for something you don’t even know exists and you’re driving yourself crazy doing it.
So many things in life are labeled strange, abnormal or scary. Would we look at things the way we do if society hadn’t marked them that way? Or are our fears just our mental insecurities, manifesting themselves into things we consider acceptable?
1. Ghosts. We breathe easy knowing we’re in the safety of our own home. Confined within walls, behind a deadbolt, with 9-1-1 on speed dial. Ghosts take that security and leave us helpless. To be in the presence of a ghost is the all too familiar feeling of being trapped within ourselves, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. The mere idea of being powerless, is enough to break us down.
2. Spiders. Although many spiders are less dangerous then a bear, we hold a stronger sense of resentment. We fear the unknown and we hate the idea of living amongst something so different then us. It’s not surprising that we hate spiders, as we’re guilty of looking at everyone ‘different’ then us as though they have eight legs.
3. Needles. We hate sitting in the doctor’s office. Tapping our foot and waiting for a nurse to register our flu shot. Just before the needle goes in, we grow anxious. We wait for the sting, knowing it’s coming and knowing it’s not worth the stress. We torture ourselves in the final seconds as anticipation has become one of our most agonizing experiences.
4. Heights. With heights comes trust. We have to trust that we won’t fall, we won’t lose our step and trip, we won’t fall victim to a push. The idea of our fate being out of our control is unacceptable. The idea of making a mistake or a misstep, that ends in more then a scrapped knee is overwhelming. One of our greatest comforts in life is knowing there’s a way to get back up after a fall.
5. Dark. Nothing tightens our breath or sends chills down our spine like the idea of walking through a dark forest, alone. We know it’s full of trees and timid squirrels, but we know that’s beneath the sunlight. The night tells a different story. The night is dark, and quiet, and unknown. We hate when we have to trust that there’s nothing following us and we hate to be lost for we know there are times when the strength of our mind and the strength of our legs, simply isn’t enough.
Sometimes I like that I believed your lies because it meant I thought the best of you. Sometimes I like how hard I tried to make things work, because it meant I was open to the idea of you. Sometimes I like the times things went wrong, because it meant I was willing to fight for you.
It’s bittersweet getting through something with the very person who put you though it, but I’m so glad I did because it meant life hasn’t yet, made me cold to the idea of love. And that’s because of you.
We spend our lives preparing for the day we graduate college. The day we enter the real world and the day we’re left on our own. Society has put it in our heads that life starts and stops when we’re handed a diploma. We have so much to do and so much time to do it, yet we live to believe it should already be done.
Life shows no mercy as we’re hit with a wind that keeps pushing back. Teasing us of happiness beyond the cold. Success beyond the struggle. The hardest thing to do is look up and look forward, so too often, we turn our backs, and lose sight of the path we were walking.
The only way to succeed is to use the push of the wind as momentum and use the idea of falling; as the very something that keeps us up.
We hate when people assume things just pass. If you see me in a month, I still might be confused. If you see me in a year, I still might be insecure. If you see me when I’m smiling, I still might be in pain.
Don’t say, still? Don’t say, I thought you got over that. Don’t say anything if you can’t understand the way pain lingers.
I’d be so simple if we had the same friends, same background, same childhood. It’d be so easy to understand if we had the same thoughts, same fears, same goals. It’d be so different if we could see through the walls people build and understand the laughs that are true and the tears that they drown in.
But we don’t have the power to see the ones who are struggling. So, we should live our lives remembering, we’ve all hurt and with that, we’re all able to hurt again.