this crazy thing called life.

fouciYlThere will be a day when you realize, life’s been busy changing. Your drinking buddy’s having a baby while your best friend’s tying the knot. The familiar faces of your hometown have scattered across the world and the girl whose name you once knew is the face of the biggest magazines. The jocks are chugging beers and the nerds are making money. The pretty girls still love the drunks while you’re just relieved you’ve moved on.

And on this day you’ll see, there are people behind you and people ahead of you in this crazy thing called life. We’re in a race, competing against a world that knows no rules and plays by no standard. No one comes out the winner and with that, no one comes out the loser. You’re tired and you’re gasping but as long as you keep running, you’re playing the game right.

10 q&A’s about my blog.

aboutmyblog1. What is the meaning behind the name, ‘Young & Twenty’ ? I chose to call my blog Young and Twenty because everything I write is about the parallels of this awkward age that we’re in. It’s the line between not a young teenager and not a mature twenty-year-old.

2. Did you have any other blog names in mind? Actually, my blog was originally called when we mumble. I always loved this because we mumble when we’re scared, we don’t want anyone to hear us, and that’s the idea behind the blog. Finally speaking up for things I was once too scared to say.

3. How do you experience enough feelings at once to blog about them? Although my posts discuss feelings I have once felt, they are not what I am feeling at the time. If I wrote a post every time I was extremely happy, sad or heartbroken, I probably couldn’t convey a clear message.

4. What is the process of writing a post? In regards to the above question, I write down words and phrases that come to my head while I’m in the middle of those emotions. Every post starts as a one-liner I have written in my phones ‘Notes’ app and I turn it into, generally a paragraph, from that.

5. Why did you start blogging? I was going through some hard times in my life, trying to decide how to get through my early twenties. I started keeping a journal but got bored of talking to myself. Then I started writing a novel but got bored of it going no where, so I started a blog where my writing possibilities were endless and I could talk to other people.

6. How many revisions does it take for you to finally publish? I write my post but I only re-read it and correct it after it’s posted. Phrases and words are always changed, even after it’s already gained readers. It really helps me to edit when I read it in the same layout as everyone else. Revisions can be up to 15+ sometimes.

7. What types of blogs do you follow? I love to read others blogs. I tend to follow blogs that discuss similar content to mine and are written in a style that can draw me in each and every post.

8. What time of day to your blog? I don’t have a specific schedule. Life can sometimes stand in the way of blogging but as long as I get a post out every day, I feel that’s all that matters. My writing is the same way. Posts are written minutes before they’re posted.

9. Do you every experience writers block? Absolutely. Losing both motivation and inspiration are of course, the worse things to happen to a writer. There were two weeks where I can admit, my blog was at a plateau and my posts became very scarce.

10. What do you hope will come out of your blog? I love having the ability to have a voice and the possibility to help others. It’s an opportunity I never thought I’d have. I hope to continue growing my blog and see if it will help open more doors in the world of writing.

start to live.

city-cool-emotion-glasses-reality-Favim.com-314033A house isn’t a home without the people beneath the roof. A vacation isn’t worth the trip without the culture you embrace. A friendship isn’t more then company until you learn to let them in and a relationship is only lust until you find someone to love. A job is simply work until you’re doing something worthwhile and your life is simply existence until you truly start to live.

Don’t give up too soon, for life has more to offer. The people will change and situations will happen. Those are things beyond your control. They’re not worth the pain. Find your outlook, find what’s right, and you will never search for happiness again.

love was lost.

I wasn’t ready to love you when I met you. There’s nothing you could’ve said, or anything you could’ve done. You gave me time to decide, time to open my arms but I didn’t, because I couldn’t. Our love was lost, our chance was missed. If timing is everything, then time worked against us, and too often I look at the door and hope you’ll walk in, so we can meet again.

a sure thing.

lovetumblrI wish I craved people. Their time, their attention, their company. I wish I heard talking in the lunchroom and didn’t turn around. I wish I could hold eye contact with the cashier without looking away or talk to my neighbor about the late mail. I wish I could run to my crush and kiss him for hours. No hesitation, no regrets, no fear of rejection.

I wish friendships were natural and love was just life. I wish our stories stitched together and I didn’t crave silence. For, I have so many things I want to say so I rehearse them in my mind, but the things I want to say may never make it to you because life has a funny habit of not following the script. So I’ll live as a wallflower, with my emotions beside me and fear on my back. I’ll risk missing a good thing for a sure thing, until one day I’m sure of myself.

the second time around.

tumblr-love-40It’ll be amazing. You’ll talk about the past. The love loss, the love found. You’ll laugh about the times you stayed out past curfew and the times you outran the cops. You’ll recognize the words that made you weak and the smile that was instant comfort. The doodles left in your yearbook and the pictures you couldn’t delete. You’ll remember the first date, first kiss, first fight.

You’ll remember the last date, last kiss, last fight. The fight you couldn’t overcome. The words you just couldn’t forgive. The happily ever after, you couldn’t wait to escape. You’ll remember why it didn’t work and with that you’ll understand why it never will. You’ll convince yourself you can love them again and again, but one day you’ll learn, love is never the same love, the second time around.

struggle means success.

DSC_2667Having a puppy has taught me that silence is nice but silence is suspisious. Trouble happens quietly, so we must learn to appreciate the madness in chaos. This is why our mind wanders when the phone doesn’t ring or we chase after babies instead of have a moment to ourselves. So don’t wish for anything easier because struggle means success, and one day, you’ll realize what you want when you realize what you got.

dreaming of different.

cool_girlDon’t skip dinner with friends or pass on a tall glass of wine. Don’t stand in front of the candles on your Birthday cake, wishing for it to be gone and don’t count down the days to Thanksgiving like you count down the calories until you’re ‘full’. Don’t miss your favourite show to run the extra mile and don’t let the seconds in your day, waste away like the numbers on your scale.

I would love my faults if I believed you ever could but for as long as you hold my hand loose and you let your eyes stray, I will understand beauty to be what they want. I will stand in front of my mirror and suck in my stomach. I will flip celebrity magazines and dream of perfection. I will wake up early to hide the things I hate and I will wrestle with myself, when I just can’t be enough.

I will spend the rest of my life dreaming of different and when that day comes, and I finally ‘look’ right, I will look at the floor when he tells me my smile’s pretty. I will argue non stop when he says I’m perfection, because I’ll remember, to you, I wasn’t enough. It’ll  take time and it’ll take hurting to one day realize, life isn’t about how you look. It’s about the person looking at you.

remembering bionic.

Unfortunately, I lost a very special friend today. He was my first pet of my own and taught me a lot, as anyone who has had a pet can relate too. Writing this goodbye has helped significantly.

photoI’ll miss the times you had accidents in places you shouldn’t and the way your ears peered over the couch when I wandered away. I’ll miss the way your legs turned like Bambi’s when you reached the wood floors and your nose never stopped twitching, in your three years of life. I’ll miss the way you slid into the crevasse of the couch and the way you would sit in the rays of the sun. I’ll miss the times you walked around with lettuce on your head and I’ll miss the way you filled the room with sound, as you bounced around your cage. I’ll miss the first time you realized you were too big to fit in your house and the way you were there for me, when I moved out of mine.

I’m drunk on missing you and as high as your hops are in heaven, but I’m thankful to miss because that means that I had and the life that you showed me, the love that I felt, will forever be what I think of, when the crazy world you left me in, lets me stop and think of you.

we tip toe around the truth.

tight_rope_walker_530wAnd if one day you lose someone who stepped too soon off the sidewalk, who took a fatal trip, or whose life worked against all odds, do nothing more but appreciate the breaths they took and the life they lived.

We can ask our loved ones to stay indoors, to lock the windows, to lay in blankets. We can ask them to stay in the comfort of a shelter, in protection. We fear we’re not strong enough to handle someone else’s pain so we tip toe around the truth that loss is inevitable and pain is survivable.

No matter the path we take or the speed we go, when it comes down to the crash, our life is in as much jeopardy as everyone else in the car. So, don’t let a day go by without remembering, life is never a question of how they died, it’s a question of how they lived.