love was lost.

I wasn’t ready to love you when I met you. There’s nothing you could’ve said, or anything you could’ve done. You gave me time to decide, time to open my arms but I didn’t, because I couldn’t. Our love was lost, our chance was missed. If timing is everything, then time worked against us, and too often I look at the door and hope you’ll walk in, so we can meet again.

10 reasons why growing up isn’t that bad.

Screen shot 2014-09-01 at 1.02.05 AM1. We may still shift our eyes as we wander the isles, fight our shaky hands as we hand over our I.D and get in and out as fast as we can, but we’re legal and allowed to buy alcohol. No older siblings, no watered down vodka, just the ability to make our own adult decisions.

2. Suddenly you don’t care if you miss a party, full of all too farmiliar faces from high school. You don’t care if you’re spotted at the grocery store with sweatpants and a naked face. You don’t care what other people think. You know what makes you happy and that’s all that matters.

3. Gone are the days when you can’t eat dessert if you don’t eat your vegetables. You can eat cold pizza for breakfast and alternate between salad and cake. You’ll learn the importance of eating healthy, but you’ll learn the thrill in knowing you don’t have to.

4. You can buy the shirt you’ve had your eye on, go to the beach with your friends, and you don’t have to spend the hour prior, begging your parents for money. You have a wallet, money, credit cards and control of how you use it. You have bills to pay but there’s time to do that after you do what you want.

5. Those years you spent asking your parents for a pet. Dragging a stuffed animal on the ground, reciting the responsibility you know it would be, just for your pleas to be ignored. Fortunately, if you live on your own and have the time and money, you can go to the pound today and go find a dog. Bonus: your pet – your rules!

6. Chores are inevitable but growing up means finding a way to make them survivable. Laundry, vacuuming and dishes are all a little more fun when you have a glass of wine by your side.

7. Mornings no longer start with a glass of orange juice. You can now close your eyes, take a deep breath and sip on a warm cup of coffee or tea. You will finally understand what got your parents and teachers through the days when you were younger.

8. Your body no longer wants to stay up until three a.m. and sleep in until two. Surprisingly, you’ll be amazed how much free time you have when you’re up hours before lunch.

9. Aside from missing out on back to school shopping, running into friends in the hallways, graduating High School and furthermore College, means no more algebra, last minute study sessions or the pain that is group projects. You’ll face a whole new collection of problems with a real world job, but it’s nice to live your life without a bell.

10. Your parents start to look different when they no longer lecture you about your curfew, grades or cleaning your room. In fact, you’ll want to tell them about your life, visit them when you’re bored and call them just to hear their voice. You’ll understand their unconditional love is something you can never replace.

a sure thing.

I wish I craved people. Their time, their attention, their company. I wish I heard talking in the lunchroom and didn’t turn around. I wish I could hold eye contact with the cashier without looking away or talk to my neighbor about the late mail. I wish I could run to my crush and kiss him for hours. No hesitation, no regrets, no fear of rejection.

I wish friendships were natural and love was just life. I wish our stories stitched together and I didn’t crave silence. For, I have so many things I want to say so I rehearse them in my mind, but the things I want to say may never make it to you because life has a funny habit of not following the script. So I’ll live as a wallflower, with my emotions beside me and fear on my back. I’ll risk missing a good thing for a sure thing, until one day I’m sure of myself.

boycott adulthood.

Screen shot 2014-09-01 at 1.13.17 AMAny day, any age, any time, you are free to boycott adulthood. You can eat pizza for breakfast and ice cream from the carton. You can pick the marshmallows out of your cereal and dip your finger in Nutella. You can wear one piece pajamas and watch cartoons upside down. You can dance to Disney soundtracks and sing into your mop. You can send a letter to Santa or eat all the Halloween candies you bought. You can spend Friday night on a Twister matt or skip a dinner party to build a fort. Get lost in a toy store or sit in a mess of pom-poms and paint.

You can boycott the bills, the responsibilities, the chores. You can cancel your plans, make some free time, ask can I call you back? You are never to old to turn away from what’s to come and savor what you’ve left. You are never to old to live young, live wild and live free.

future without flaw.

Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 10.41.41 PMI’m everything you want, even everything you need. We fit into each others lives, into each others arm’s, into the empty space of our bed’s. How can you not want something, so fairytale meant to be? How can you not want you guys are perfect, smiles? How can you not want me?

I’m not the girl you fall in love with. I’m not the girl who gets flowers to her door. We’re not perfection, but I can promise we’re worth the fight. I can promise a future of certainty, not searching, because to me, we make so much sense. It’s a shame love doesn’t.

some say [guest blog]

I’ve written about the twenties and the struggles I’ve faced throughout these years, but I’ve always been fascinated with hearing others stories and perspectives. We all seem to have the same mindset yet such different journey’s. I always look forward to reading Single Strides work so thank you for offering such a great piece.


Screen shot 2014-08-25 at 12.22.57 PM Forget everything you’ve been told about what you should and should not do in your twenties. I’m here to let you in on a little secret… No one knows what you should do better than you.

Seems simple, right? But consider this: no matter what you do you’ll be on one side of some contradiction. Some say you should stay single. Some say you should get married. Some say you should go out every night. Some say you should enjoy staying in. Some say you should travel. Some say you should focus on your career.

And that’s just it… Some say.

But what do you say about your twenties? Do you want to visit the world, or do you want to wait until you have someone special to see it with? Do you want to continue learning, or do you want to attack the real world? Whatever it is, just follow your heart. Get married at 21, or don’t. Sky dive for the hell of it, or just read a book. Just do it because it’s what you want and not what is expected.

Personally, I’m not anticipating checking things off of a list for my twenties. What I want is purely personal. I want to find myself, my true self, deep within my core. I want to fall in love, heavily, with my own heart. I want to fall asleep with happiness, and know how to let go of pain. I want to see the world out in the clouds and also the one at my own feet. I want to know me.

Ignore the lists and ignore the expectations. Focus on what your soul longs for. Say yes to the moments that will light your heart on fire. And know it’s also okay to say no to moments that wont. The only thing that’s necessary to grasp is to not be afraid of your desires, because it’s life that’s short… Not just your twenties.

So what is it like to be in my twenties? It’s magical. It’s exactly what it should be because it’s what I want it to be. Meekly because I’ll never stop following my heart along my dirt-ridden road, flooded with fallen stars I’ve wished upon. It’s breathtaking chaos, but it’s mine.

 Where does your path lead?

thoughts now hold substance.

Screen shot 2014-08-24 at 11.49.26 PMYour wine glass is empty ’cause you drink from the bottle. The bottle is empty ’cause you drink with the moon. It’s madness. It’s intelligence. It’s bloodshot eyes at three a.m. You write because they won’t let you talk. You write because you need the light, to help you find the dark corners of your mind.

Your fingers, they dance while words, they appear. Your once floating thoughts now hold substance and truth. It’s a writers mind, a quick escape. It’s the silence of your room and the screaming in your head. It’s lonely, it’s comfortable. It’s being the passenger of a sinking ship and simply watching the violinist play.

the second time around.

It’ll be amazing. You’ll talk about the past. The love loss, the love found. You’ll laugh about the times you stayed out past curfew and the times you outran the cops. You’ll recognize the words that made you weak and the smile that was instant comfort. The doodles left in your yearbook and the pictures you couldn’t delete. You’ll remember the first date, first kiss, first fight.

You’ll remember the last date, last kiss, last fight. The fight you couldn’t overcome. The words you just couldn’t forgive. The happily ever after, you couldn’t wait to escape. You’ll remember why it didn’t work and with that you’ll understand why it never will. You’ll convince yourself you can love them again and again, but one day you’ll learn, love is never the same love, the second time around.

who to resent and who to admire.

When someone apologizes for the way they look, the things they say, it means there’s someone in their life, that taught them to be sorry for who they are. Someone taught them to make excuses for their flaws, to justify their presence.

Perhaps that’s why we confuse cocky with confident. We’re torn between who to resent and who to admire. We’re blinded by whose standing tall and whose being held up. For, even the prom queen knows what it’s like to wake up alone. The highest A-lister has felt lonely in a crowd. The most glamorous person has looked at their reflection through tears.

We compare ourselves to those exactly like us. We all have our niche. Our sense of high; giving us happiness in the darkest times as everyone’s goal is to simply survive tomorrow as they did today. Everyone has the right to live without apology and as a result, they will live without regret.

silence means forgotten.

It’ll be a simple, straight forward text, what’s up?

My thumb will hover over letters on the keyboard, aching to tell you about my insecurities, my deepest fears. I’ll backspace the lines I wrote, flustered about the things that kept me up at night. I wish I could respond, filling your phone with my failed childhood dreams and my too ambitious goals. I wish I could tell you about the music I play on repeat, the poetry I recite in my mind, the things that make me cry, every time I watch the news.

Instead, our conversations are full of empty words.There’s beauty in silence I wish we could find, but for now, silence means forgotten so I’ll wait for your texts. My stomach will toss and will turn. I’ll take a deep breath and respond, not much, you?