what the 20’s taught me [guest blog]

As a twenty-three year old myself, I’ve struggled with summarizing what the twenties have taught me so far but this guest post from Tweets and Mascara is so appropriate and relateable for everyone in similar situations.

I’ve been in my twenties for three years now, and it’s taught me more than one could expect from a seemingly arbitrary time period. For each year of my twenties so far, I’ve complied a whopping list of three lessons that have stood out above everything else. It’s not meant to be advice, because no one takes it anyways.
 
1. Life is pure chaos. Your plan won’t work out. People will let you down. You’ll fall out of love with your job. You car will break down the week you’re trying to move. But as depressing as that sounds, it’s actually liberating. When I went to college, I was positive I knew exactly where I would be in five years. Now, five years later, none of that happened, and I couldn’t be happier. Having hopes and goals for the future is awesome, but in a less restricting way than “I’ll be married in five years, have a baby in six, move in seven.”
 
2. It’s okay to be wrong. I never wanted to admit failure when I was growing up, but my twenties have shown me that people respect people when they try. I put a lot of effort into everything, which is difficult when things don’t work out, but is absolutely glorious when it does. Even when I’m sliding in a major failure at work, people appreciate my passion and creative ideas, despite them being implausible and unworkable. When you keep trying, good things eventually happen.
 
3. I’m not going to say something as clichéd as “quality over quantity,” but when it comes to people in my life in my twenties, the crowd seemed to thin. Whether it’s because of job commitments, new relationships or moving far away, my large circle of friends have dwindled. But when I come home and need someone to talk to, I’ve got that more than I ever have before. The relationships I do have are so much richer.
 
My three years in the twenties have been turbulent, difficult and even tear-soaked (on occasion), but there have been more laughs, smiles and achievements than any other time period. Yeah, I might have stood in front of my executive coworkers and presented about social media, while wearing jeans and using terms such as “stalkers,” and “cat-videos,” but overall, being a mature adult isn’t nearly as bad as teenage me thought. Twenties is an empowering time, as you have your own capacity to make decisions, while still having leniency of “being young” as an excuse. So my only takeaway advice, would be to soak it in, because there’s nothing else like your twenties.

 

no survivors.

We’re enslaved to the things we can’t control, that’s life. Our faults are the things we can change, and don’t. We go through life with such slow precaution in fear of losing what we have, despite not knowing what it is. Life takes prisoners but leaves no survivors so don’t settle for a life, confined within your worries. Don’t sacrifice control of your future for security in right now.

love was lost.

I wasn’t ready to love you when I met you. There’s nothing you could’ve said, or anything you could’ve done. You gave me time to decide, time to open my arms but I didn’t, because I couldn’t. Our love was lost, our chance was missed. If timing is everything, then time worked against us, and too often I look at the door and hope you’ll walk in, so we can meet again.

10 reasons why growing up isn’t that bad.

Screen shot 2014-09-01 at 1.02.05 AM1. We may still shift our eyes as we wander the isles, fight our shaky hands as we hand over our I.D and get in and out as fast as we can, but we’re legal and allowed to buy alcohol. No older siblings, no watered down vodka, just the ability to make our own adult decisions.

2. Suddenly you don’t care if you miss a party, full of all too farmiliar faces from high school. You don’t care if you’re spotted at the grocery store with sweatpants and a naked face. You don’t care what other people think. You know what makes you happy and that’s all that matters.

3. Gone are the days when you can’t eat dessert if you don’t eat your vegetables. You can eat cold pizza for breakfast and alternate between salad and cake. You’ll learn the importance of eating healthy, but you’ll learn the thrill in knowing you don’t have to.

4. You can buy the shirt you’ve had your eye on, go to the beach with your friends, and you don’t have to spend the hour prior, begging your parents for money. You have a wallet, money, credit cards and control of how you use it. You have bills to pay but there’s time to do that after you do what you want.

5. Those years you spent asking your parents for a pet. Dragging a stuffed animal on the ground, reciting the responsibility you know it would be, just for your pleas to be ignored. Fortunately, if you live on your own and have the time and money, you can go to the pound today and go find a dog. Bonus: your pet – your rules!

6. Chores are inevitable but growing up means finding a way to make them survivable. Laundry, vacuuming and dishes are all a little more fun when you have a glass of wine by your side.

7. Mornings no longer start with a glass of orange juice. You can now close your eyes, take a deep breath and sip on a warm cup of coffee or tea. You will finally understand what got your parents and teachers through the days when you were younger.

8. Your body no longer wants to stay up until three a.m. and sleep in until two. Surprisingly, you’ll be amazed how much free time you have when you’re up hours before lunch.

9. Aside from missing out on back to school shopping, running into friends in the hallways, graduating High School and furthermore College, means no more algebra, last minute study sessions or the pain that is group projects. You’ll face a whole new collection of problems with a real world job, but it’s nice to live your life without a bell.

10. Your parents start to look different when they no longer lecture you about your curfew, grades or cleaning your room. In fact, you’ll want to tell them about your life, visit them when you’re bored and call them just to hear their voice. You’ll understand their unconditional love is something you can never replace.

a sure thing.

I wish I craved people. Their time, their attention, their company. I wish I heard talking in the lunchroom and didn’t turn around. I wish I could hold eye contact with the cashier without looking away or talk to my neighbor about the late mail. I wish I could run to my crush and kiss him for hours. No hesitation, no regrets, no fear of rejection.

I wish friendships were natural and love was just life. I wish our stories stitched together and I didn’t crave silence. For, I have so many things I want to say so I rehearse them in my mind, but the things I want to say may never make it to you because life has a funny habit of not following the script. So I’ll live as a wallflower, with my emotions beside me and fear on my back. I’ll risk missing a good thing for a sure thing, until one day I’m sure of myself.

boycott adulthood.

Screen shot 2014-09-01 at 1.13.17 AMAny day, any age, any time, you are free to boycott adulthood. You can eat pizza for breakfast and ice cream from the carton. You can pick the marshmallows out of your cereal and dip your finger in Nutella. You can wear one piece pajamas and watch cartoons upside down. You can dance to Disney soundtracks and sing into your mop. You can send a letter to Santa or eat all the Halloween candies you bought. You can spend Friday night on a Twister matt or skip a dinner party to build a fort. Get lost in a toy store or sit in a mess of pom-poms and paint.

You can boycott the bills, the responsibilities, the chores. You can cancel your plans, make some free time, ask can I call you back? You are never to old to turn away from what’s to come and savor what you’ve left. You are never to old to live young, live wild and live free.

future without flaw.

Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 10.41.41 PMI’m everything you want, even everything you need. We fit into each others lives, into each others arm’s, into the empty space of our bed’s. How can you not want something, so fairytale meant to be? How can you not want you guys are perfect, smiles? How can you not want me?

I’m not the girl you fall in love with. I’m not the girl who gets flowers to her door. We’re not perfection, but I can promise we’re worth the fight. I can promise a future of certainty, not searching, because to me, we make so much sense. It’s a shame love doesn’t.

bowzer box [review]

DSC_2754As a new dog owner, Pet Smart has become one of the most exciting yet overwhelming places to go. I’ve already spent countless dollars on treats and toys that my puppy has turned her back to. As a result, I was instantly drawn to the idea of a subscription box, specifically designed for dogs. Needless to say, Suri was able to make a new friend out of this months box.

DSC_2771Bowzer Box is a Canadian company in Waterloo, ON. Their boxes are full of dog treats, toys, accessories and coupons. The costs are impressive, especially once you consider the total if you were to stand in line at the pet store, watching the items scan onto the screen.

Costs: $29/month, $78/quarter, $138/half-year, plus $4.50 shipping per box.

The company allows you to chose a service specifically aimed for a small, medium or large dog. I received the Medium box, despite having a small dog but as the people at Bowzer Box advised me, it’s suited for all sizes. Aside for the case of one treat, I found this to be true.

DSC_2756Quaker Pet Group Gator – I have to say, this is one of the best quality toys that I have given to Suri. It’s made with a chew guard technology, making it almost indestructible for a puppy like mine. I’ve had some very happy moments watching my girl trot around with her new friend.

Chuckit! Tennis Ball –I’ve always passed these tennis balls in the store so I’m happy to finally test them out. Although they are a little to big for my puppy, she still loves to chase them. Chuckit! is a line of ball launcher toys which I hope to one day get, for our dog park shenanigans.

DSC_2758Exclusively Dog Fillet Stix– Honey Hickory Flavor with Whitefish and natural ingredients. These treats are in the form of soft rods which are easy to break apart. These were a hit with Suri so it’s nice to have another treat or snack to put into circulation.

Slobbers Coconut Bananza – Although these snacks don’t really say it, their blurb implies that these can be eaten by humans. I can’t say I’m going to test that theory but the idea of such a natural treat is always comforting to a dog parent.

Whimzees Dental Chew – The alligator shape is adorable and goes perfectly with this months theme. Unfortunately, this is one treat I won’t be able to give to my puppy as it is intended for dogs nine months and older with a minimum of 25 lbs.

Zuke’s Jerky Naturals– This appears to be the one and only sample package of treats which once again, my dog is more then willing to try for me. These treats are not only natural, but filled with vitamins and other good ingredients. These may be worth purchasing a full size package.

I am so happy that this August, Bowzer Box, was my first subscription box from the company because it makes writing an honest review, easy. On top of their safe and trusted products, they donate 10% of their box sales to help dogs in need. This box had a fun theme, selection and and an impressive value of around $50. I definitely recommend this to all dog owners and although I’m at the start of my search for a subscription box, this is one I am already leaning towards signing up for.

If you’re interested, visit Bowzer Box and use the promo code ‘Y&T10′ at checkout to get 10% off!

the second time around.

It’ll be amazing. You’ll talk about the past. The love loss, the love found. You’ll laugh about the times you stayed out past curfew and the times you outran the cops. You’ll recognize the words that made you weak and the smile that was instant comfort. The doodles left in your yearbook and the pictures you couldn’t delete. You’ll remember the first date, first kiss, first fight.

You’ll remember the last date, last kiss, last fight. The fight you couldn’t overcome. The words you just couldn’t forgive. The happily ever after, you couldn’t wait to escape. You’ll remember why it didn’t work and with that you’ll understand why it never will. You’ll convince yourself you can love them again and again, but one day you’ll learn, love is never the same love, the second time around.

who to resent and who to admire.

When someone apologizes for the way they look, the things they say, it means there’s someone in their life, that taught them to be sorry for who they are. Someone taught them to make excuses for their flaws, to justify their presence.

Perhaps that’s why we confuse cocky with confident. We’re torn between who to resent and who to admire. We’re blinded by whose standing tall and whose being held up. For, even the prom queen knows what it’s like to wake up alone. The highest A-lister has felt lonely in a crowd. The most glamorous person has looked at their reflection through tears.

We compare ourselves to those exactly like us. We all have our niche. Our sense of high; giving us happiness in the darkest times as everyone’s goal is to simply survive tomorrow as they did today. Everyone has the right to live without apology and as a result, they will live without regret.