an end to your doubts.

UntitleddvcThey say dating is a numbers game, leaving no hope for the girl that can’t settle. You see something you want, you forfeit your emotions and more often then not, you get nothing in return. It’s not your fault you’re holding out, waiting for someone worth loving. Waiting for someone willing to figure out your connect the dots.

Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cut your dreams short. Don’t let go of your overall. One day someone will put an end to your doubts. One day you’ll look into someone’s eyes and see where you stand with them and the thought of standing alone will never again make sense.

the people around you.

Untitledasdsa

You don’t want to breakdown because you don’t want to challenge the people around you. You don’t want to see who would be there; you just want to believe they would all be.

You may mean the world to them, but no one’s life stops when yours does. You want them to push you, comfort you, convince you there’s good you can’t see. Maybe they can’t keep telling you things will be okay. They can’t call every lunchtime or skip every dinner. They can’t give you expectations that they’ll always be there because sometimes they won’t be. Sometimes your call will go unanswered. Your mind will be left to wander. You don’t want to breakdown because you know; sometimes the idea of someone has to be enough.

a devil on your shoulder.

UntitldsadedYou can’t believe the world looks at you any different then the way your mirror does. Your self-image sits as a devil on your shoulder, whispering critique and hate.

You lay your clothes out the night before, shopping at the same stores they do. You buy extra promising foundation, hoping the haunting remains of your teen years will soak into your skin. Your hair won’t grow the way you want it to, your body won’t shape your clothes the way you wish they would.

You do everything to hide your imperfections. To erase the things you hate. To battle the impurities you hide behind, day after day. As hard as it is to believe, you’re more then a number on the scale. More then a number of likes on a picture. So be proud to be a paint-by-number and they’ll still look at you like art.

stop and look around.

Ucxcntitled

Stop and look around or you’ll miss a puppy see it’s first flower, or a baby take it’s first steps. You’ll miss the teen on the bus give their seat to an elderly women and your neighbor will hold open the door. You’ll miss one homeless person share their sandwich with another and you’ll watch a child’s face light up, with a new teddy in their arms.

You’ll look at your feet because life doesn’t deserve your smiles. You have the ability to be selective. To see what you want – to want what you know. And with every step you’ll remind yourself of heartbreak and pain. The humans that start wars and the evil on the news. You look down to avoid a truth you can’t stand. The world is full of messed up people. Broken people, but for as long as you let yourself turn your head to reality, you’re letting yourself be one of them.

all things bad.

UnfftitledYou hold a fascination for all things bad. Bad for you. Bad to you. You fall for the wrong people. You love knowing they have dark thoughts, bad habits and broken personalities hidden beneath their fearless attitudes. You love the intensity of their moods and the honesty in their words. You quickly accept you can’t have simple love. You need someone to fight daemons with you.

In the midst of falling for others flaws, you fall victim to your own. You begin feeding your inner enemy, confusing your mistakes for who you want to be. You look at your life through a tangled web of rope. You hide behind the wrong people and the wrong choices; despite hating the person they make you.

you could be enough.

Untitled sdYou can’t admit he doesn’t want you. His eyes don’t light up when you walk in the room. Your inbox shows no evidence of him. Your sheets are tangled from your own distress.

You still flinch when you hear his name. The way you wish things were occupy your mind while reality tells a different truth. Your life has plans he’ll never be apart of but you tear yourself apart wishing he were by your side.

Wishing for once in your life, you could be enough. That you could lay beside him on the nights you stay up, full of rage and sorrow. The nights you’re punching pillows. The nights lonely never felt so alone.

embrace the fall.

UntitledvdcJack-in-the-boxes taught us to expect the unexpected. Show and Tell taught us the worth of having more, having better, having the best. Finger painting taught us the mess we’re capable of and the colours we show, without any intention. Skipping rocks taught us the fight of sink versus swim and a simple game of tag, taught the power of a touch.

We’ve spent years finding lessons within life, yet there’s still so much we don’t know, and so much we haven’t learned. A frustrating idea to some, but a sense of excitement for those who understand, we should be so fortunate to live in a world of the unknown.

So remember the things you learned in the rows of a classroom, but, don’t be mislead. Our educations leave us staring at a wall, and once we turn around, we fall into life’s depths and with that we learn, we must embrace the fall because those who fall are wiser, then those who grab for air.

10 things I would do with a million dollars.

We’ve grown up with the question, what would you do if you had a million dollars?, floating around our heads. The twenties (possibly more then any other age) teaches us the value of a dollar and the way our lives change according to our income. I’ve finally given thought to what I would do if I won the jackpot or stumbled into a successful business venture. What would you do?

milloin1. Buy a two bedroom condo and rid myself of pesky landlords and the constant burden of where I’m going to live in a year.

2. Treat the friends who have stuck by me through the low points of my life, to a fancy night of food and drinks.

3. Send my parents on a two-week cruise to finally say thank you (as much as I can) for everything they’ve done for me.

4. Take two vacations myself. One with my family, and one with close friends. 

5. Enjoy the freedom of going out for desserts, to the movies, bowling etc. with no barriers or maybe after pay day, restrictions.

6. Fill my fridge and cupboards with all of the foods I’ve once picked up and put down at the grocery store because of the price. i.e the fresh $10 pizza instead of McCain.

7. Fill my closet with all of the clothes I’ve once picked up and put down at the store because of the price. (Within reason, of course). i.e. no more Forever 21!

8. Embrace the ability to finally give back to a charity of my choice. I am a strong supporter for Animal Rights and would love to contribute to such an important cause.

9. Walk through the streets with a pocket full of bills, giving them out to every homeless person I come across.

10. Use the money to financially support me while I figure out how to make a living doing what I love, writing.

days get lost.

UntitleddsdToo many people live in oblivion. They take life as it is. They have amateur ambitions, a close-minded outlook and a persuadable mind for conspiracy theories. They accept the stability of a plateau. They have no interest in seeing what else life has to offer.

If your dreams haven’t made you cry, haven’t kept you awake at night, or haven’t forced you to give up, time and time again, they’re not big enough. You don’t want them bad enough. There’s a lot of motivation at night that morning pretends not to remember, so don’t let it slip away. Don’t let your days get lost.

Go for the long shot. Go for as far as you can skip a rock, for the only lies we believe are our own. Don’t tell yourself this is enough because there’s a danger in believing that’s true and it will cost a life you’ll never know.

love was lost.

UntitleddfvsdzI wasn’t ready to love you when I met you. There’s nothing you could’ve said, or anything you could’ve done. You gave me time to decide, time to open my arms but I didn’t, because I couldn’t. Our love was lost, our chance was missed. If timing is everything, then time worked against us, and too often I look at the door and hope you’ll walk in, so we can meet again.